Wednesday, 31 August 2016

TINDERTALES

HIIIIIII

So I was going through some turbulent times (hahahah) and C intro-ed Tinder to me lololololol (/whispers thanks) and without it, I think I wouldn't have such a speedy recovery (lol)

Anyway, Tinder is really the place where you find lots of crazy characters (albeit some of their counterparts are above the average level of boring)


Exhibit #1
Title: Uncreativity
Let's call him UG for Uncreative Guy.




So what happened was i, as always being the troll that I am is uhh trolling fellow tinder-ians la.
So when he said yo without anything else, I was honestly abit sian. Like what do you say after that??? And that is why I tried a Yo Mama joke but obviously this guy did not get it and uhh when i tried to deviate him from the pick-up line that he is brewing, he was lost and I unmatched him /mean

EXHIBIT #2
Title: Cow

I am creative /puts on proud face with arms akimbo

So there's this guy whose name is Sir.

And I called him Sirloin

AHAHAHAHAH okla not very funny also

/retreats slowly and closes the door to prevent any of you leaving

EXHIBIT #3
Title: RSM (Relatively Smart Guy)

I dont have screenshot of this but there's this guy whom i was talking to and then being the troll that I am, I made him guess for everything such as name, phone number etc lah. So I gave him my phone number except the last digit and asked him to figure it out himself.

And this RSM actually quite smart ah. He went to add every number known to human kind (even the number 10 WTF and that is why he is relatively smart and not Einstein wtwfwtfwtfwft) and added all of those numbers on WhatsApp (BTW GUYS, IT IS WHATSAPP, not whatapp or whatapp, or whatapps, It is WhatsApp alright??!!!!! sorry, just a tiny pet peeve that I have)

And lo and behold, only two numbers have Whatsapp and one of them is an Indian guy with piercing stare that could pierce through your brain XDDDDDD

I'll just blur out the guy's face except the eyes to protect his identity lah XD

Scary hor?
I actually laughed out loud when the RSM sent me this XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Ok that's all the funny ones that I have la. If there's more I will do a part 2 ok.



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Please pray that I can get college (It's Residency College but we usually just call them college or KK).
CHEBAL BUDDHA ALLAH JESUS
/prays


OKBYE

Thursday, 4 August 2016

Drive me to hell

Edit: Break to brake (/closes face at own mistake wtf like why in the world would i think that brake is spelt break T_T) and erm credits to TP for recognizing that wtf. Erm according to him, TP is the perfection, but I would like to think of it as tuapui /mean
hAHAHAHAH TP if u see this i am kidding ok (or am I? hohoho)


I'm known for my notoriously bad driving skills. And that's why even after I got my driving license two years ago wtf ( which erm is from 'bao' aka erm under table wtfwtfwtwf but in my defense right, I only failed naik bukit ok wtf ). So,
................(I need some alcohol right now la wtf)............................................................................
------------brb while I go watch Knowing Brothers T_T ---------------------------------------------------

sadness turned anger now wtfwtfwtwtfwtf

Yeah so, that's why I have to relearn la ok. And also cox I never drove after getting my license
lololol. So today while I was sleeping, my dad woke me up to get my license so that he can make my L license (cox u need it when u learn driving on the road, even if u have a legit driving license). Then after giving it to him, I went back to sleep, only to be rudely woken up an hour later by my dad saying that he already made an appointment with the Driving Tutor?/Uncle? (aiya let's just refer to him now onwards as DU aka Driving Uncle ok) on 12. And that time it was 11. So I went to eat, bathe and all and went to meet DU.

So, DU appeared to be kind and all so I was like ok, this guy not bad la. Not like my previous machaohai uncle who played Candy Crush while sitting beside me when I'm driving. But jeng jeng jeng, first impression usually not correct one. WTF

And also I admit I am a really bad driver wtf and you have to tell me exactly like when to change gears and stuff right? But no, he just blabbered off then when I ask him, he talked about other things so I'm like... wtf bro. So from then on, my face abit dulan liao la wtf. Then he went on to ask u got take undang one anot. You 'bao' for undang also ar? (throws in more sarcastic remarks which I'm not even bothered to respond to anymore) Then when I don't respond, he was like eh u cannot hear me ar/??? WTFFFFF U THROWING A SARCASTIC REMARK AND I DON'T WANT TO RESPOND WHAT DO U THINK IT MEANS??? :D :D :D :D :D :D ^_____________________^

And also, he made me take another route back home, which I'm not familiar with la ok. I am not Columbus (the one who discovered America wtf) the explorer ok. Nor am I Dora tsk. Then when I said I don't know this way, he went all near your home you also don't know ah? Then when I finally saw a familiar place and knows the way, I just directed myself la (cox I'm driving what). Then when we almost reach my house, he went all AHHHHH ITS THIS PLACE YEAH I KNOW LA MY FRIENDS LIVE HERE ONE WHAT. IF WE USE THE OTHER ROUTE IT IS EASIER LOR, WHY U HAVE TO COME AND USE THIS ROUTE BLABLABLA. MAFUCKHAI OK U R THE ONE WHO DON'T KNOW WHERE MY HOUSE IS AND I KNOW SO SHUT THE FUCK UP LA I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE THE OTHER 'EASY' ROUTE U MEAN OKK KNNCCCBMAHAI. /FIRE/


and also one thing in common with all drving school uncles are that they are menopausal men???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When got Bumper Situation 1:
DU: GOT BUMPER AHEAD. BRAKE.

When got Bumper again Situation 2:
EH WHY U BRAKE !!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST DON PRESS DOWN ON OIL PEDAL.

And some random times situation A:
EH CLUTCH.

Same situation but different time:
WHY U PRESS DOWN ON CLUTCH???????

IM GONNA STUFF HIS FAT HEAD INTO MY GRANDMA'S CLUTCH MAHAI.


Then I snapped at the driving uncle and when we reached home, at my dad T_T sorry dad wtf
NO SORRY FOR U DRIVING UNCLE!
I also know that its cox under stress and if he doesnt do what he did. we would both be dead on the streets la but this is my blog leh. let me rant can or not. T___________________________________________________________________________________T

Really dunno why must pay money to go thru stress T_T